Preparing for a newborns arrival-what you can do in advance

Advance preparation for a newborn

The amount of parents I see in the Magazine isle looking at parenting publications highlights the demand in this era for essential information on the subject. Parents want to read about the latest research on illnesses, the reviews on latest gadgets and they also want to know how others deal with parenting-it’s human nature to be curious about how others do things. Although I’ll be the first to say it can become an unhealthy obsession for some who end up becoming their own worse critic and worst still they constantly compare their child to another. Reading is research but it should be approached with caution when it comes to parenting. Anyhow, lecture over for today. I want to talk to you today about advance preparation for when your little bundle does arrive into the big world.

If you google the advance preparation you will come across hundreds of links to parenting forums where Mothers before you have leapt into the unknown. Most offer the same advice thus as a parent with previous experience I am writing this long yet useful article on the matter-enjoy.

What can I do to make life easier in the first few weeks of baby’s arrival?

That’s the golden question. When you have your first baby (or second/third/fifth...) the first few weeks can become a blur between nappy changes, feeds and cleaning up baby sick (sorry but it’s true). You struggle to dress yourself and the amount of visitors who want to see the baby quickly escalates to epic proportions. But all it not lost; you can do lots in advance to calm the situation.

Firstly, look at how you wish to announce the birth of your baby. Do you want to send out formal announcement cards with a small photo to your loved ones? Or will you do it via Social Media? Decide on your method and stick to it. Now here’s the key: write on the card something like "Hanna and Ryan look forward to you meeting baby X soon. We’re currently adjusting to the change so please give us a few weeks to settle and then pop in for a cup of tea". There you’ve done it. You’ve basically invited them around but when you are going to be a bit more alert than the first two weeks. If you decide to use Social Media by suggestion is you or your partner put something like ‘Mother and baby are doing superbly. We look forward to having guests in a few weeks time. Please call before you visit us-thank you!’. It’s short and sweet and gets the message across. If you want to get out of the house and have older children you may wish to visit a soft play centre and let others know you will be going so they can meet baby. It’s about going at a pace that suits you and your family. Don’t over stretch yourself. If you are too tired to make them a drink you could ask them if they wish to make their own hot drink-explain you are not feeling too perky. Most people will say yes and offer to make you a drink too. If you want to go down this route I suggest you label your drink containers and make life easier for your friends and family.

Make a list of all the items you wish to purchase-now. If friends and family have offered to purchase an item for you pass them the list and let them choose the item they wish to purchase. If friends and family have offered you their hand me downs ask to see them beforehand and see if they are in good enough condition to be used. Do that now-you don’t want to do that at the last minute.

If you are going down the pre-loved items route start looking around at nearly new sales and on notice boards as soon as you can. Again these type of activities cannot be left to the last minute.

If you purchase pre-loved clothing or blankets launder them and put them away as soon as you can .Organise them by age/weight so it’s easier to pull them out when time comes to use them.

If you buy new clothing or blankets and so on it’s advisable to launder them before using them too. You would be amazed at how much dust circulates around the factories where the clothes are prepared.

When it comes to food we all have to eat-FACT. Here are my top tips for how to feed yourself by advance prep. I’m afraid you need a freezer:

If you like pasta make up a large batch of sauce and freeze them into portions. That way you only need to boil pasta. Keep a couple of precooked pasta pouches at home too for those nights where you cannot face even boiling water

Curries freeze well and make a good meal. All you need to prepare on the day is either boiled rice or naans-which can be picked up at your local supermarket or Naan Shop.

If you have freezer capacity consider freezing complete meals that just need to be put in the oven-e.g. lasagne, enchiladas and even biryani. Prepare the dish up until the point you need to put it in the oven. Use foil dishes which means no washing. Double wrap the item with a sheet of foil-this should stop freezer burns. Label the item and write on the foil how the item needs to be cooked e.g. ‘remove on the day from freezer, leave to defrost for x hours, cook on gas mark 5 for 30 minutes"-done.

If you enjoy items such as tandoori chicken you are in luck. You can cook the chicken in advance and freeze it cooked. Then you take it out defrost and heat. Serve with naan and salad. It should in essence take less than 30 minutes to prepare a meal if you defrost the cooked chicken in a microwave.

It’s worth looking at what you like eating and having ea look online at cheats recipes that take less time to cook and also at recipes that freeze well.

If you like using your slow cooker (crock pot) then you could prepare the vegetables and meats for dishes and freeze them. Then on the day you take them out, place them in the slow cooker with the sauce (jars work fine) and basically you are done. Check online for more recipe inspiration.

If family or friends ask if they can help out and they can cook why not ask if they can batch cook you some meals? There’s no shame in taking up help. Every parent has been there; it can get too much and often offers of help in my experience have been sincere.

If you are a part of a playgroup why not set up a ‘meal support group’? Basically you need ideally 7 or more mums for it to work. You all cook a meal a day for a new Mother thus giving her a week off cooking to adjust to baby. You continue helping others in the group too. It’s a great idea which should be practiced more in the UK.

　

Older children:

If you already have children then organisation is going to be your best friend.

You need to be on the ball-fact. So here are a few tips to get you going:

If you take your child to Nursery, School or Playgroup organise for a friend or family member your child likes being around to step in your shoes for a week whilst you adjust to the new kid on the block. If your children are older (say 8 years plus) and a parent near you walks their child to School you could ask if they would be willing to take your child with them-as long as you understand your child needs to understand the whole ‘stop look listen’ concept as people will be doing you a favour; they don’t owe you anything.

If your baby is due around September time (new School year) order their School uniforms in advance. This will save you last minute tears and tantrums and hopefully reduce your stress too.

If your bundle of joy is due around a Festivity period try and organise as much as you can beforehand. This includes outfits and presents and if possible meal arrangements. If you live in the Manchester area of England Nawaab actually do an Eid dinner (or so I am informed). You may per person, and eat as much as you like from the delicious buffet (I’ve reviewed it previously). They take care of the washing up. A great option for a family who are expecting a baby around Eid and the Mother is the main chef. Many restaurants do similar meals for Christmas so everyone has an option to dine out on their special occasion.

If you have wardrobe capacity organise two weeks of children’s outfits. Clip on tights, vests etc to the hanger along with the dress/trouser/top etc so it’s a complete outfit. That will help other family members dress your children. This is especially helps Fathers who have no concept of putting together an outfit (my husband is guilty of this).

Try and delegate after School activity pick ups and drop offs. Same goes for Birthday parties, plays, matches and Discos that are scheduled around your due date.

If you have smaller children, say toddler age you may wish to buy them a few small gifts for when baby arrives. Often toddlers can feel left out with all the attention and gift giving that happens with a newborn. If they are given small wrapped up gifts it will make them feel special too.

The Hospital bag:


Aim to have this packaged by around 30 weeks-earlier if you are having twins. If you are having a complicated pregnancy I suggest you back an overnight bag with a nightie and toiletries in in case you get kept overnight at the Hospital before baby arrives.

I shall be posting a detailed blog entry on what you need in your Hospital bag-so keep an eye out for it.

Preparing your home for the new arrival:


Now is the time to complete all those half done tasks including any decorating that needs doing.

If you allow people to smoke in your home now is the time to stub it out and let them know if they wish to smoke they need to do so outside your home.

Baby proofing your home can be done when your baby is able to get about. But just as a note it’s worth understanding that any figurines or similar items will need to be re-homed if they are at low level. Cables should be secured and other electric appliances should be kept out of reach. Items such as fish tanks should be placed on a secure surface.

Furniture should ideally be kept away from windows to reduce accidents

Blind cords must be kept completely out of reach of children-I think it’s pretty much self explanatory to why this needs to be done.

Look into safety gates. You will need two for each set of stairs in your home and ideally one to block off access to the kitchen. Safety gates are often featured in the Asda Baby event.

Household tasks:


If you can budget for it there are plenty of ironing services that charge a reasonable amount to collect your ironing and they even drop it off for you once they are finished. Prices vary from area to area-look at services in your area via Netmums website and look for recommendations on there too.

If you plan to use reusable nappies contact your council about grants that maybe available and to find out if there are services that will collect soiled nappies and drop them of nice and clean. Again it’s about budget-so look at costs and factor those into your baby and household budget.

You can even buy reusable baby wipes-have a look online and see if they are suitable for your needs.

If you think you will be relying on fast food when baby arrives look up your favourite place online and find out if there are any vouchers or offers you could have to save a bit of money. Larger chains such as Pizza Hut often send out 50% off vouchers so it maybe worth signing up to their newsletter for offers.

Budgeting for baby essentials:


Look at your budget and set aside an allocated amount to baby stuff (if you are able to do that of course) which you can use to purchase items as you go along. Stocking up on enough baby grows, fabric softener etc is a good idea if you you have the budget and space for the extra items.

Babies cost a fair bit. If you plan to use disposable nappies and wipes you may wish to buy a packet of nappies and wipes her shopping trip to build up a supply before baby arrives. The cost of a pack of store own brand nappies and wipes will cost you approximately £5.00 and will be less missed on a weekly basis whereas bulk buying will be more noticeable to your budget.

Boots, Tesco, Asda and Sainsburys ALL host baby events during which baby essential items go on offer. I’ve picked up a box of six packs of Huggies baby wipes for £3.00 at the clearance before. I’ve also picked up six tommee tippee bottles for £5.00 at the end of the event. It’s worth you signing up to these stores newsletters and mailings so you know what’s on offer and when. Tesco offer a 1/3 off their newborn and two sizes up nappies during their baby event. That’s a big saving when you add things up.

The items worth stocking up on are:


Wipes (babies get through loads of these)

Nappies in Newborn size. Don’t buy lots in a small size. Babies get through anywhere between 8-12 nappies (and sometimes more) a day. Calculate how many you may need over a month. The blessing of buying store own brand nappies is you will be to exchange unopened bags of any nappies that you don’t use for a size up. So it’s worth thinking about that

Baby grows and body suits-ideally you could do with having enough for three/four days without having to rely on putting on your washer/dryer. Ideally stick to neutral colours and whites as you can wash them together

You will notice you do a lot of washing-if you see a non-biological washing powder in a bulk size box at a great price snap it up. Same goes for the fabric softener (if you use it) for delicate skins. I bought about six boxes of Fairy detergent. Each box did 80 washes and we got the boxes for £10.00 each from Sainsbury’s. They were an absolute bargain. We are still using them to wash our little girls clothes in.

What not to stock up on:


Baby formula-simply because you cannot tell if your child will be able to drink cows milk (Lactose Intolerance)

Food items and snacks-again you don’t know what your child’s tastes will be like and whether or not they will be able to eat said products

Gadget and gizmos-the ones you think you will need but never get round to using. Things like plastic mashers made by certain celebrities to mash bananas with work the same as a standard masher that costs a fraction of the price!

Parenting books-your local library should be well equipped to help you out. If that fails contact your local Children’s Centre and ask them if they have a parents book library.

Newborn developmental toys-really a newborn isn’t interested

Clothes in newborn sizes such as dresses, suits etc-people tend to give these as gifts and you end up with clothes you were unable to use. My advice is that you ask family and friends to give you vouchers not clothes for the stores you shop in-that way you can put them to better use afterwards when baby needs clothes.

Try not to become label obsessed. Own brand items are just as good quality as larger brands. Do a bit of research online to find out which own brand items are current parent favourites. Personally I like Tescos own brand nappies and switched to these when I found out Huggies would no longer be selling their nappies in the UK/Ireland.

　

Preparing mentally and physically


Now I would be the dumbest blogger around if I told you being a newborn’s parent was a brisk walk in the park. I think I’m best off describing it as a climb up Ben Nevis. It’s hard, testing but the reward from the achievement of reaching the top is amazing.

I didn’t know much about being a parent first time round so read every parenting book available to me at the Library. As readers of my blog will know I have read in detail books on baby sleep. I read and read and read. I attempted to prepare to the best of my capability.

I tried to rest as much as possible. Although I prepared I wasn’t prepared for a emergency C-section with a blood transfusion on top. Sometimes we prepare we are still tested;don’t be disheartened if this happens to you.

As long as you understand each child is different and they don’t all develop at the same speed or do the same things as their siblings/cousins you should be a happy parent. If you find you are worried about something speak out don’t let it stew.

An important note: if you feel down past the first few weeks of your baby’s life (e.g. past the Baby blues stage) PLEASE speak to your Doctor or Health Visitor and don’t be ashamed of the way you feel. It’s not a pleasant experience and Mothers often feel sad and alone and ashamed that they are struggling and cannot feel a strong bond with their child. Post Natal Depression needs to be sorted by a professional; it doesn’t just disappear. It must be dealt with efficiently so you can life a happy life with your family. I am talking from painful experience. I cheated on the ‘test’ the Health Visitors use to determine if you are indeed at risk of PND. I knew the test as I had previously worked alongside Health Visitors and other professionals. My PND effected my whole life; it brought me down and I felt at times I wasn’t coping and yes admittedly I had dark thoughts. I didn’t see the importance of my life.

It’s quite natural for a pregnant woman or a new parent to feel down; however there’s a thin line between the feelings that can go away without medical treatment and what needs to be seen and treated by a Medical Professional. What I can tell you from experience is that babies that are born during winter (when the clocks go back) are born at a time when a lot of people are generally feeling down due to the lack of sunlight. If this happens to you please speak to a Medical professional and explain your feelings. There is seriously nothing to be embarrassed about. Please for the sake of your child seek medical advice.

It’s going to be a bumpy, tiring and testing journey but it’s worth. I look at my little girl and look back on the two years and there have been moments of joy and moments I wish to forget. But the most important thing is my toddler is a happy toddler-and that’s the goal of parenting.

A well stocked freezer-Ramadan preparation 2012

As most of you will be aware, I am on Ramadan countdown 2012.

I am a firm believer in preparing as much as one can especially for the Holy month of Ramadan. So I thought I would write a few entries that would hopefully help others out there find more time during Ramadan for the important Ibaadaah (worship).

I love my freezer-and my keen readers will know my husband recently defrosted my chest freezer (much to my horror!). I lost a lot of home cooked meals but then I spent three days/night sessions cooking and restocking the empty cube that was once my favourite meal provider. So during the blessed month of Ramadan I trust my freezer to be my wing man (any Top Gear fans in the house?) and help me as much as possible to cut down on time spent in the heart of the home-the Kitchen.

Now there will be sisters reading this fuming that I am making Ramadan into a food feast-the truth is though for thousands of Muslim households all over the world food plays a large part of their festivities of the Holy month. Plus human nature makes anything forbidden more lustful-so when we are not eating our minds can start wondering towards food. Plus markets in Muslim countries come to live at Magrib prayer time (sunset-when the fast opens) and you can often see families and groups of friends enjoying a mixture of dishes to mark the end of a fast. Prayers are also important during this month so if we can prepare in advance then why not?

So let me discuss my freezer and what I know freezes well. My tips might be in a post about Ramadan preparation but just remember these tips can be used at anytime of the year.

What freezes well:

pretty much anything within reason. Anything that turns to mush e.g. lettuce is a no go. Spuds (potatoes) turn to slime so they don't freeze well.

• I find apple and pears don't freeze well. Apple mixture for apple pies (sweated down apples) freeze well. Pear puree to mix into things like porridge freezes well.

• Mix berries freeze well on an open tray. Once they are frozen you simply place them in a freezer bag. These berries work well in cakes, porridges, yogurts etc. Great way to preserve them if you grow your own.

• I cannot live without corriander and mint. So I freeze both. You can do this by either buying bunches of both, washing and shaking off water and freezing whole. Or wash prepare the herbs and whizz them in a food processor with a bit of water and create your own herb cubes to freeze in a cube tray. Or lastly, wash and prepare your herbs, cut them up finely and once they are dry put them into freezer bags but don't remove the air from the bag. Give the bag a good shake every few hours (about three shakes will be enough during 8 hours). This will prevent the leaves from sticking together and you will have frozen fresh herbs to use.

• Other herbs such as woody ones like thyme freeze very well. Simply wash, dry and freeze. You don't even need to remove the leaves from the stalk unless you really wish to. A lot of recipes often call for herbs on the stalk (e.g. slow cooked meals). Once the herbs are cooked you simply remove the whole stalk from your meal anyway.

• Vegetables are pretty much the same as fruit. If the vegetable is likely to turn to slime e.g. courgettes or aubergines they are not worth freezing. However, both are fine cooked and then frozen. I have frozen Aubergine curry and it defrosted fine and tasted fresh too! Potatoes do well frozen as things such as potato cakes (alu tikkis). Raw potatoes don't freeze at all. Plus economically it doesn't make sense to freeze them in the UK-potatoes are quite affordable all year round.

• Meat freeze well-mince, whole pieces, pieces of chicken the lot. However you should only really freeze these items and use them up within a realistic time scale. Bacteria still lives even in a freezer.

• Eggs don't freeze well unless they are frozen in something like a Breakfast Burrito which protects the egg from becoming rubber like.

• Left over pieces of hard cheese, butter and even wrapped up pieces of bread freeze well. So do breadcrumbs.

• Milk freezes too! Don't bother freezing yogurt-unless it's in a recipe for frozen yogurt lollies etc. Low fat yogurt can sometimes split.

• Stock freezes well-however always leave room for expanding.

• Now this what I freeze and how. Please bare in mind it's advised by various health bodies to use frozen goods within 3/6 months as bacteria still exists even during the freezing process. However I have heard of people using frozen meat that was 4 years old and it didn't kill them.

• I freeze the following for time saving (especially when I know I'll be busy for the next few weeks):
• I freeze the fried Chicken Pilau masala before adding rice and water. Always make sure the chicken is cooked so that it doesn't need to be cooked further after defrosting. I then take it out of the freezer, defrost it and then add water/stock and rice. This saves on the time needed to prepare Pilau when I don't have the time. The masala freezes well.

• I also freeze Mutton Pilau masala too and that works too. Again, I make sure the mutton meat is cooked before freezing.

• Koftas (meatballs). I freeze these raw and cooked. Cooked ones cut down time even more and can be used in wraps too. Koftas rock-simply defrost and fry (if raw) or add to handi masala. Koftas also work well added to Biryani and Pilau mixes. Simply make up your basic Biryani or Pilau base and add the cooked koftas.

• Chicken tikkas-aka chicken kebab strips. I marinade these in spices and lemon juice, cook them in the oven and freeze ready to serve.

• Alu tikkis-these are cooked and then frozen ready to eat.

• Other Kebabs e.g. Behari, Seekh-I cook these and freeze them so they are ready to serve.

• Tandoori chicken-I marinade these, cook them in a hot oven and once cooled they are frozen just like the kebabs.

• NOTE: avoid over cooking any item you wish to freeze to retain moisture.

• Samosas and Rolls freeze well prepared but not cooked. To cook remove from the feezer, defrost and then either brush with oil and oven bake or deep fry.

• Parathas (yes that's right!) freeze well. You half cook them, and freeze them in between grease proof paper. You then defrost, and finish the cooking on a tava.

• Halva (semolina pudding) freezes great!
• Plain sponge cakes freeze well.
• Pastry (from filo to sweetcrust) freezes well.

• Curry wise the following freeze well:

• keema (mince meat) freezes excellently. You can either freeze keema masala and add vegetables such as peas once you defrost the mixture of freeze prepared curries with the peas in it ready to eat once defrosted and heated.

• Chana Dal freezes well-as do all daals.

• Meat curries freeze well-I freeze the masala and after defrosting and heating it I add the stock and vegetable (e.g. potatoes). Masala takes up less space compared to the final curry dish.

• Browned onions which provide the base of curries and rice dishes also freeze great and are a great timesaver.

• Finely chopped garlic and ginger freeze well and can be defrosted and added to curry bases/other dishes as and when needed.

• Other dishes I freeze are:

• pasta bakes
• chicken kievs (raw, to cook defrost, fry and then bake in the oven)
• meatballs for pasta sauces and bakes
• fishcakes
• Cottage pie

So as you can see, there's plenty of options in regards to what you can freeze and save time for Ibaadaah during Ramadan.

Most food can safely be kept in the freezer for at least 3 months so why not start planning your meals/menus and freeze what you can now?

PLEASE NOTE: once you defrost an item it should not be refrozen! It's a safety issue!

I shall continue with my Ramadan themed posts and hopefully we can all find time for Ibaadaah and our little Munchys too.

The mummy must have item-a working washing machine!

I haven't been able to post over the last few days as I have literally been snowed under with tasks I have been struggling to complete. This included 6 loads of washing (Munchy did a morning of throwing up so I ended up with extra laundry). And as my Washing Machine was no longer in working order (thanks to my husband who thought the inside looked dirty so removed the door to clean it causing the machine to have a nervous breakdown) I started to panic. How was I going to wash all the clothes and linen?

So luckily I found a reasonably priced workman to carry out the repair of replacing the door (and how hard was that-VERY ladies and gents, VERY). Every place I called wanted a 'fixed labour charge' not a call out charge as they kept banging on about. Er but what if the repair is a minor one would you still charge me £60.00 plus VAT? Yes. YES?! Well clearly they make their money taking advantage of novice customers like me. However I decided to make a few more calls and found a guy who offered free estimates.

How my poor machine has been going non-stop! Linen, our clothes, Munchys stuff, Munchys favourite blanket (called kumbo-'kumbal would be the punjabi/urdu name she has picked up and turned it into Munchy words).

So moving on from the Washing Machine if I told you my husband attempted to clean the door before the door became 'ill' would it be a surprise to you? Bless him he tries but his attempts oven turn out *clearly not* in my favour.

How's that you may ask? Well here's a list of recent actions that have resulted in more work for me:

the defrosting of the freezer=now I have to batch cook loads and replace all the stuff again (nearly done though-more on that later)
cleaning of the washing machine door=repair man making £50.00 out of me for the new door and labour
moving the cooker and spilling the wok of oil that was stored in the oven=one smokey oven when I turned it on to cook my tandoori chops! So now I need to don my gloves and get me some oven pride by cleaning, cleaning, cleaning!

So three incidents in as little as 14 days. I am dreading any other problems that maybe coming up.

It looks like I will be going Pakistan next month with Munchy and her dad. Right now I have mixed feelings about going. I have loads to do around the house and wish to have it all done and dusted before Ramadan InshAllah and this year I would love to spend every minute possible in a state of Ibaadah however as we all know a messy house with incomplete tasks plays with the mind and we don't get much done because we find the mind wondering about things. Secondly, I'm not 100% myself anymore. I've been through a few rough times and find myself becoming more of a private person. Now please don't laugh, how can a blogger be a private person. Well we can be. We only reveal what we wish to reveal in a blog, however when you are exposed to the joint family culture in Pakistan not much remains private.

You get asked silly questions, often private questions and not responding with a positive glow is often seen as you not wishing to hold a conversation with that person and before you know if everyone is asking you what your problem is.

An example of this is the last time I visited Pakistan some ladies within the extended family were discussing another family members family planning situation. OMG, to say I was shocked was an understatement. A country that was created on the principles of Islam still has gossip queens that really don't give a hoot about the fact a couples family planning or other private matter is just that-a private matter. Having the family women discussing it over a cup of masala chai (tea) is something I cannot understand or accept. I got up and walked out of the conversation. My thoughts on the matter is, if my MIL is discussing others private matters the likelihood is others will do the same back. And personally speaking I would prefer not to be the subject of the ladies gossip over a cup of tea and samosas.

Now here in England I have friends and we like to talk-but never have we talked about each others private lives. It's never come up in conversation which I put down to the fact all of us are on the same wave length. Our conversations revolve around our jobs, kids and lack of time to do tasks. Ah, so it's pretty much what you readers talk about then.

So yes, a trip to Pakistan can bring me problems personally because I simply want to shout from the roof top 'PLEASE STOP GOSSIPING ABOUT OTHERS PRIVATE LIVES'. But what stops me is the fact noone cares to understand why I have an issue with such subjects. Then there's the hygiene standards of some who do not believe in anti-perspirant deodorant. Of course most shower everyday however culturally some don't see the point in using what we in the West take for granted. Oh and then there's the problem of how do you dispose of sanitary towels without the whole world knowing what they are?! Oh and the food-the rice tastes different and the daals taste nothing like the stuff I'm used to. So for the time I will be in Pakistan I won't be eating much. Now before someone says 'you shouldn't forget your roots' I haven't. My grandfather left Pakistan 10 years after it's creation (1957). So my roots are indeed in Birmingham UK. My ethnic heritage is Pakistani however I feel more at home here at home that in Pakistan. Maybe it's just me. Perhaps I'm a coconut (white on the inside, brown on the outside). I don't know. All I know is, if I didn't have a tie with Pakistan of family I wouldn't book a ticket to go on holiday to it. That says something. Maybe a new government will result in positive change. Maybe Munchy will feel different about Pakistan? I will hopefully take Munchy Pakistan for weddings, holidays etc however there is only so much I can do to create a bond between a country and a child. How Munchy feels is likely to be different to how I feel.

So what else have I been up to? I have been trying to stock up my freezer again. Is it just me or do others feel relaxed when they have meal backups in the freezer? So what's in my freezer I hear you cry! Here's a quick list:

keema koftas
olive and lemon meatballs
chicken kievs
breaded chicken herb fillets
2 x chicken pilau packets
2 x meat pilau packets
chicken chapali kebabs
seekh kebabs
marinated tandoori drumsticks
marinated tandoori mutton chops
chicken meatballs

And I still wish to add keema rolls, chicken tikkas, alu tikkis and a few sweet treats.

With the above stuff I can sleep easy knowing I have enough to create a small feast if I need to. And as it's my wedding anniversary on Monday I might take a few things out and have myself a nice meal to celebrate.

And as for sleeping easy goes-it's 11:52PM here so I need to go sleep and catch some zzzzzs before the mayhem begins in the morning. The mayhem includes the assembly of our FunPod! Cannot wait to review it for you all.

Right, I'm off now.

Night!

Why is pregnancy still a taboo in Asian society and OMG my husband turned off my freezer and didn't notice until 8 (gulp) days later!

Pregnancy is a miracle in the purest form. We all know what the steps are to get to the 'miracle' but there's something clearly magical about pregnancy.
Most ladies wear their bump with pride-and so they should. However in the

Asian community we are still struggling with pregnancy etiquette.
Now I will be the first to admit that when it comes to etiquette around males in the home environment I don't have much experience of this-simply because I was raised in a single parent family and my deadbeat father didn't actually bother with me because he made a nice family for himself elsewhere (rot in help Pops). And when I got married I didn't spend much time with my in-laws and their extended lot (THANK GOD). However what I do have experience with is modesty.
Islamically, it's requested of the women that we do not show our figures to basically lure the look of men. This can also be applied to a bump situation but it doesn't mean you have to HIDE your news from the world.

There are families out there where women on their periods PRETEND to preform salat (5 times daily prayer) in front of males in their families to stop questions from them. Please ladies reading this-educate our brothers to understand that women have a body that changes and we get periods! And sisters if you live in a joint family set up please take your husband to one side when another sister in the family is expecting and explain that she is indeed on the journey to become a mother and doesn't need the men of the family constantly making her run around for things, or need the questions of 'why is she having a rest!!??'.

I've seen families where sisters are expected to cover their bump for the whole nine months so men in the family don't know what's going on. That is not modesty-that's just silly billy talk!

I'm not saying I expect my Asian or Muslim sisters for that matter to go around flaunting their bump however modesty allows for you to dress comfortably. There are plenty of maternity lines that offer practicality and modesty when it comes to your growing bump.

What I would like to see is other sisters sending duas (prayers) in the direction of expecting sisters when they find out a sister is expecting. No sisters I really don't think saying things like 'May Allah bestow you with an heir' is quite the same especially when a sister is expecting on her first child.

Jealousy is a nasty emotion that can get the best of many especially at such as magical time as pregnancy. There's sisters out there whose husbands merely got excited when they found out their wife was expecting whereas there are sisters whose husbands were excited from day one and continued with the excitement throughout the nine months becoming the envy of many. That my sisters is also down to upbringing. Let's all do ourselves a favour and bring our baby boys up to be honest, humble, hardworking pious men who indeed care for their wives, and show their feelings-Ameen! A man who can show he cares for his wife will in the long run have less problems with his wife because she will know he cares and any problem they have is a hitch they can hopefully overcome.

So my top tips to any sisters currently expecting:

• enjoy every minute as the time will soon fly
• try to involve your husband even at first it seems he's not interested. He cannot feel the changes and growing baby the way you can
• Try and involve elders in the family especially if you live in a joint family with baby related things. Maybe your mother-in-law can knit and you cannot. Why not ask your MIL to knit some booties, a blanket or three for the baby?
• Expect the unexpected and be prepared to have a birth that isn't the fairytale you planned.
• If you live alone try and prepare the kitchen for when the baby returns. This can include batch freezing meals so you don't starve or have to rely on local takeouts once baby is here
• CLEAN as much of your home as possible before baby arrives.
• If you look after the bills sit your husband down before baby arrives and explain the bill system to them. The last thing you need is to be worrying about a baby and the bills too.
• Prepare yourself for parenting as much as possible-read blogs, books and attend prep courses if you have them in the area.
• Accept broken nights sleep is what is in store for you for at least a good 8 months plus.
• Organise your wardrobes and home as much as possible beforehand.
• If you are a part of a mums group try and organise to see at least one mum visitor at least every 4 days. The first days can be scary, and if it's your first time it can also be extremely stressful. A familiar face will help you.
• Take any HELP offered to you. Don't be shy. Other mummies will know what you are going through.
• Don't feel you need to provide your guests with lavish snacks-they really don't expect it.
• Ask your midwife all the questions you have even if they are small things that you are slightly worried about after all there job is to be there for you. My Midwife Sharon was fab and a trooper for me.
• RELAX if you can-and try not to worry about the things you cannot control.

So sisters enjoy your bumphood-it soon goes and you will miss it!

Okay so today's rant-OMG my husband unplugged my chest freezer and only remembered 8 days later.
So what was wasted: homemade keema, rolls, kebabs, tikkis, chops, daals, chicken palak plus lots of stuff Munchy loves plus uncooked meats. I am still upset after the whole experience. All that time spent cooking wasted by my husband. All he say is when can go buy them again. What about all the hours I spent preparing the food? It seems he forgets Munchy is a full time job.