It's finally Spring!

It’s finally Spring-YAY!

Although this entry is full of the joys of Spring I wish to take a moment and and reflect on the following events of this week.

Firstly the start of this week was the annual Boston Marathon. It’s attended by hundreds of thousands of folk as well as thousands who participate. We all wish to do good in this life; and those folk who take part in Marathons is of course sponsored for a good cause. To target them in my humble opinion was a direct attack on the good-it’s as simple as that. The attack that killed three people and injured numerous more was not only an attack on America is was attack on those who like us wish to do good. I pray that the person (s) responsible for such a horrific attack is found hung and quartered. Well of course capital punishment is no longer in operation but I hope they are found and justice is given to the victims.

The earthquake on the Iran-Pakistan border. After the 2005 earthquake of Kashmir any news of an earthquake in the region makes my stomach turn. Although it was a big earthquake the destruction it caused has been far less. It’s a small blessing yes; but a blessing still.

The Funeral of Margaret Thatcher. If you are in the UK it will be hard for you to escape the death and funeral of the late Prime Minister. I won’t talk to much about what she did, what I agree with or what I think she did wrong but what I do want to say is those who are still sitting around criticizing what she did when she was in power for 3 terms need to stop blaming others for the fact they still haven’t moved on or tried to make a difference she she left office. We will all leave a legacy upon our death; so instead of just throwing stones as each other and shouting we don’t agree with such and such we need to turn the negative into a positive and get on with life and make a positive contribution-especially parents who wish for their child to do the same.

Okay so I heard that Spring is going to finally rock England. You guys will not believe how happy those words make me. No really. When you are pregnant, tired and and have developed a dislike of cold bitter short days the idea of Spring is like Heaven. So when I heard about Spring I was excited; kind of like a child in a sweetshop. The idea of Spring cleaning, fixing the garden and looking forward to Summer. Oh yes Summer. Although you expect a three month stretch of hot weather I’ve become accustomed to accepting three weeks of great weather as a good Summer.

Now I know my regular readers are wondering why I am not talking about the fact there is a months gap on my blog. Well truth be told you already know the reason. I am having a bumpy ride with pregnancy number 2. There I’ve said it. With pregnancies the idea of ‘practice makes perfect’ really doesn’t apply. I know that may have scare some of you but look at it like this-no two children are the same so why would the pregnancy be so?

Now with pregnancy number 1 I was tired yes and of course I was on insulin for my Diabetes but I felt fine. This time round I have had bad sickness, Lambrintitus, two bad infections and the scare of my Kidneys leaking protein (which can be a sign of Preclampsia). I’ve been on two courses of antibiotics, prescription painkillers for the pain and have even done a 24 hour urine collection. Oh yes it’s all fun.

But it’s a part of the package of pregnancy. After all the blood tests and so on turns out I’m actually fine. Yes I have hearing problems in one earth due to the Lambrintitus and I get dizzy and need to lie down more than I would like to think about. I get tired but then I do have a toddler too. I cannot eat fried food or spicy chili sauce as they cause heartburn. I can’t sleep through the night as I get uncomfortable. I did myself worrying about how my toddler will take to her new sibling. I also worry about the birth and the idea of being induced again (if I want a VBAC-that’s a vaginal birth after a c-section).

But you know what I’m good. I’m like the millions of mums out there who have concerns and think about them and and then something else comes along and all of a sudden your path or worry changes to something else.

What else have I been up to? Well we've just marked our seventh Wedding Anniversary and yes guys I feel old. Although saying that I got married when I was nearly 23; which to be honest now seems like a ridicilously young age to make such a bit commitment about your life. Then again some people get married at 18 and live happy and joyful marital lives for decades.

Spring for me a true time of reflection and to make plans. I know we all set our new years resolutions but truthfully how many people keep them? I use Spring to go back to my bucket list and think about what I plan to do and by when. Spring is like a new beginning and I think it should be embraced as so.

So here is my short but sweet list of things you should try during this Season. The fresh air alone during Spring is excellent for blowing out the cob-webs!

My top lists of things to do:

• Take you little one to feed the ducks

• Fly a kite

• If you have a bike go for a bike ride

• For those of us who love nail art-why not try a pastel shade of nail enamel to make the beginning of Spring?

• Go on a nature hunt-but instead of looking for things to take home take photos of Spring flowers, take bark rubbings etc

• If you have time take up a new hobby-look up books in your local Library for inspiration.

• Plant some seeds-sunflowers are great for children. If you want to consider vegetables consider tomatoes-kids love them!

• If you don’t have a garden how about growing cress indoors?

• Clean your front door and give the exterior a lick of paint-it will truly make you happy inside

• Make a list of the D.I.Y projects you have around the home and create a realistic timeframe to complete them in.

• Try a new activity with your child-how about baking, gardening, water activities, pavement chalk (the list is endless and you can try my favourite Pinterest for inspiration)

• If you are not able to go away this year start looking at days out that you can afford and start planning to make the most of the area. I recently did a search of my area and found two farms within a 30 minute drive. Not bad. Plus they are both affordable and worth taking a look at.

• Now is the time to DECLUTTER, declutter declutter. Tackle that cabinet, wardrobe or even the children’s room if that’s what you need to do! If decluttering is a scary thought consider a mini Spring clean and go from there.

• Have a cuppa in the sunshine. Yes it’s cold; but wrap up warm and enjoy the anticipation of the Summer that will soon be here and will be become a distant memory.

I’m sure that list will keep you all busy. If you want to create your own to do list for Spring just search for Spring Bucket Lists.

Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten my core value and reasons for writing this blog-parenting! I will be back soon with a review of a Pink Lining Changing bag. I’m all giddy just thinking about the name.

Be safe and enjoy Spring!

What you need to buy for a newborn-from a real parent

What you really need in the first months of a newborns life-from a parent who has been there (and isn’t trying to sell you something!)

Some of the items I have suggested were essentials for us; you might find that some of these items are not as high priority for you. Anything you don’t prioritize can be picked up in the sales; just create a list of the non-essentials and hold tight for a bargain or three.

The journey to parenthood is exciting and EXPENSIVE. There I’ve said the dreaded word. Truth is every store that sells baby stuff is fighting for your attention and your wallet. Everyone wants a slice of the baby pound. They put up glossy pictures of happy families and show you a world of magical fairytales where babies gurgle all day and hardly need to be burped, fed or changed. It’s sadly all marketing gimmick and it’s all so you part from your hard earned cash.

A while ago I wrote an article of buying pre-loved items. I understand that in today’s recession climate a lot of parents are making cut backs and it’s fully acceptable to go down the route of purchasing pre-loved if you know how to find bargains and possibly be a dab hand with a paintbrush. But for those of you who have budgeted over the years and wish to spend your hard earned cash on new items then this blog entry is for you. Enjoy and please let others know about so we can assist other parents too.

What do you really need for a newborn?
I've left out the everyday items you will be buying every month such as nappies, wipes etc. I'll create a list of the everyday essentials in another blog post.

Shops will have you believe you need anything and everything with bells and whistles; fortunately that’s not the case. A newborn needs to feel loved and secure more than anything else. Here is a rundown of what you will genuinely need for your bundle of joy:

A car seat-my local Hospital won’t allow a baby to be discharged without their being a car seat present and in working order. If you do not have a car then you will need to borrow a car seat. Ask friends and family. Safety is paramount.

Somewhere safe for them to sleep:
Usually this is a Moses basket. My current favourite is a dark wicker one seen on eBay (new) for around £60.00 including stand. A designer or High Street ‘labeled version will easily set you back DOUBLE that price. Is it worth it? I’ll leave that decision down to you as it’s your money.

Other alternatives are a crib (which can be bought on the High street for under £100.00).

Both Moses Baskets and Cribs are only suitable until your baby is able to sit up. At this stage it becomes dangerous to use them in case of falls. At this stage in a child’s life they move onto a cot. But that’s at least 6 months down the line.

You will also need a mattress and bedding;
 Never buy a second hand mattress. Look online for mattresses-we bought ours online and saved £40.00 on the price that was on the high street. It’s always worth looking around. Always buy from a reputable seller. If you do use a website like eBay use Paypal to pay and check their feedback before buying anything. Be safe.

Sleeping bag:These are great for little ones. Always check the recommended weight on the packaging-generally speaking most Sleeping bags/Sacs are not recommended for newborns. You usually have to wait a few weeks until baby meets the weight requirement to use these. These are great. There’s no problems with blankets becoming loose during the night. Available in different ‘togs’ for summer and winter months.

Changing Bag:Taking a baby out involves military like precession planning. There’s bottles, formula, nappies, wipes...the list is quite long. What you will need is a bag to carry all your must haves in. Bags vary from a standard one for around £30.00. A ‘posh’ bag can cost anywhere from around £80.00 upwards.

Swaddle cloths:If you are lucky like me and come across very helpful Midwives they will share many pearls of wisdom with you; including this babies love to be swaddled. Basically it’s like wrapping a burrito. Babies have been cocooned for the past 9 months and startle easily (via their own limbs!). If they are ‘wrapped up’ they feel happier. You can buy purpose made swaddle cloths or you can make one. Or you can learn to swaddle with a standard blanket via tutorials on YouTube. The possibilities are endless.

If you plan to bottle feed (or express milk to allow your partner to share the feeding load) you will need the following:

• Bottles

• Teats

• Sterilizer (old fashioned ones with water, microwave systems or steam ones-you decide which works for you)

• Sterilizer fluid or tablets

• Muslin squares/alternatives. These are great for protecting your clothes from sick and milk spills. Don’t say I didn’t warn you; it comes with a part of the newborn package.

• Bottle brush (to clean the bottles)

• Breast pump (if you are planning to express milk)

• Cleaning fluid-your usual dish cleaning fluid is acceptable

I purchased all of the above items from a Superstore (Asda) during their Baby Event as they worked out much cheaper than Mothercare. Gosh will I be hated forever for saying that in a public place?! But it’s about value for money and that’s what I got. Shop around, look at reviews and decide which system works for you. Just because a certain brand worked for your niece it doesn’t mean it will work for you so be wise and get to grips with bottles and so forth whilst you have the time.

A means of transport-a Pushchair. Now this is a minefield for any first time parent. You go into a store and you are greeted with a simple system for under £300.00 and then you see the Rolls Royce of Pushchair’s for £800.00. Ridiculous money in my opinion but if that’s what floats your boat go for it. I suggest you consider the following

• Does it fit into your budget?

• Is it easy to operate/open/close?

• How much space will this pushchair take up in your car boot (trunk)?

• How long will this pushchair last you practically before you need to move onto a stroller?

• If you plan to have more babies soon can this system be transformed (via accessories and additional seat) to accommodate others?

• If you plan to reuse the Pushchair is it in a neutral color?

Some online stores offer ‘slightly seconds’ which means the Pushchair is safe to use but may have loose stitches or another issues that effect appearance slightly. If you are happy to take a slightly seconds model you can save a fortune-I’ve been there. We bought a second pushchair for our little one and paid under £70.00 for it as it was classed as a ‘seconds’ item. The new version was £120.00. To this day I’ve not been able to find the fault and we’ve been using it for 2 years.

Projector/Mobiles to go above crib
Projectors are meant to give a display of color and music that should lull a child into sleep. Sadly these didn’t work for us. They may work for you. Have a look around for one that suits your needs.

As for a mobile, the theory is they entertain a little one with the colorfulness and again help a child to sleep (they make be dizzy but then I’m not a newborn). It’s basically the similar theory to a Projector. We had one and yes you’ve guessed it; another failure for us.

Clothing:
In all seriousness your newborn doesn’t need lavish outfits. I know it’s easier said then done but resisting the urge to buy fussy outfits will save you money in the long run. Save that money and invest in outfits for an older age. If you do purchase clothes in an older size my suggestion is to not buy too many as clothes don’t just go off age of child, they also go off weight too which isn’t easy to predict.
Outer ware- such a pram suit. We’ve all seen them-the suits that look like a teddy bear/polar bear or similar cuddly object. You need to get one that will keep your little one safe from the elements. Consider the season too. One outfit should be enough for you; unless your baby is sick a lot in this case you may wish to invest in another suit as backup.

Toys and Books
Truthfully your baby won’t be up for playing with toys for the first few months of their life. Yes they will ‘follow’ colorful items around the room. If you wish to invest in a few toys soft toys such as rattles, high contrast toys (try Lamaze) and a couple of soft books should be enough.

As for story books; reading to a child at any age is enjoyable. My little one has only recently started to choose her own book and ask for it to be read but I’ve been reading to her for a while now.

Toy Gym/Floor Mat/Baby Nests
These are worth the investment. Babies love to lie down and stare up at objects above them. Babies spend a lot of time lying down, so you need to look at things to keeping baby occupied and comfortable for their first few months of their lives.

Have a look around and find something that appeals to you and is multi purpose that will last at least a few months.

Baby Bath tub (with stand if possible). Babies need to be cleaned. ‘Topping and tailing’ is acceptable as a form of cleaning but the reality is newborns need a bath too. For topping and tailing you'll need a bowl. Most stores do a nice bowl which contains a bowl for water and area for cotton buds etc. 
You can find various designed bath tubs. From those which have a built in additional support to ‘prop’ baby up (which you support baby too) to a basic bucket design. There’s also a ‘bath support’ appliance available which supports your little one whilst they are in a bigger tub. If you plan to use your family tub for your newborn I suggest you invest in a Bath Dam (I’ve reviewed it previously). A stand comes in useful for those parents who find bending down hard; especially after a C-section.

Don’t forget to purchase a baby bath towel.

　

Baby MonitorIt may seem a bit weird that you are planning on leaving your baby alone in a room but sometimes it’s unavoidable. You have lots of different ones to pick from-you can have a basic one with just sound, one that connects to a mat which alerts you of if movement suddenly stops and the top of the range ones with a camera that watches your baby so you can not only hear your little one but see them too.

If you plan to have a Nursery ready for when your newborn comes you may wish to consider the following:

• Blackout blinds (to create a dark room for little one to sleep in)

• A dresser-to change baby on OR

• The cot top dresser. It’s like a wooden mat that you put on top of the cot and use it to change baby’s nappy

• Storage unit-for storing nappies, wipes and similar items

• Set of drawers/children’s wardrobe to store clothes

• A nursing chair-the type that ‘glides’ or another comfortable chair for sitting in when you are trying to get little one to sleep

• A lamp with dimmer-for when you need to find things around the Nursery

• Cot/Basket/Crib-for baby to sleep in-don’t forget mattresses and bedding!

If you have the space and budget allows you may wish to place a folding single bed in the Nursery to take a nap with baby.

A lot of the items on my essential list cross over into the Nursery too such as the Baby Monitor. A lot of things you will purchase will be used throughout your little ones first years, so it’s always advisable to do a bit of research before shelling out on bit purchases.

A note on cot/cot beds and bumpers
A great investment if you don’t plan to reuse your child’s cot whilst they are a toddler is a cot bed-the cot that transforms into a bed. This saves you purchasing a toddler bed. However if you plan to have another child quite soon after the birth of a first child this idea isn’t really worth a try financially or else you’ll end up with multiple cot beds to sell on later.

Cot Bumpers (the ones that go on the inside of the top bit of the cot) are not an essential item and some argue that they are not safe for a little one. If you wish to use one do a bit of research on the matter before parting with your money.

Further ways to save money:

Many stores have a ‘surplus’ or ‘seconds’ store where you can purchase their goods that are not perfect at a discounted price. Mamas and Papas have a seconds store in Stoke-on-Trent, however the last time I visited the store I was told you cannot return an item purchased so unless you are 101% happy with the items you wish to purchase.

Closing down sales/end of season (or rangeSales are a great place to purchase essentials at a discounted price. Look about for sales online too.

Sign up for Parenting Clubs at the store you wish to make purchases from in advance of your due date. If you don’t want to be bombarded with offers ensure you tick all relevant boxes. Ask about discount vouchers. Some stores offer 10-15% off a threshold spend.

Look in Catalogues-if you like something in particular and have yet to create a an account ask if there is a discount for a first order.

If you know what you wish to purchase and you know where you wish to buy it from you could ask friends and family for vouchers for that store. Every penny helps.

The same applies to colleagues, or friends and groups that wish to hold you a Baby Shower.

Check out eBay for new bargains. Paypal is a safe way of paying. Never send cash. Always check out a sellers feedback before a purchase. If you are making a large purchase and the seller states they have a store do a google search in advance and find out what others say about it.

 Amazon Also a great place to pick up a bargain including boxes of wipes.

Ask other Mothers where they bought there stuff from; you maybe surprised at places they mention for bargains which you had never heard of or even considered.
 
Enjoy the shopping spree!

Pre-loved Love.

Buying pre-loved? There’s no shame in it!

Kitting out of a Nursery for the first time is expensive business. Large companies will send you their catalogues and state you can ‘get the look’ for £500.00. But what do you do when you have a budget of less than £300.00? In a recession when budgets and wallets are at their tightest parents find themselves looking at ways of cutting down and saving any extra pounds they can. Afterall Children are not cheap and the costs never go down-rather they carry on getting bigger and bigger as the bundle grows.

For some buying second name isn’t even something they have to think about-they do it. It’s the wallet and eco-friendly option.  For others though culture dictates that they cannot buy second hand for it will look ‘bad’ on their family. It’s almost like you are saying ‘I cannot afford this child but still’. To those sisters/brothers reading this who come from that group, I do hope this blog helps ease your mind and helps you with your budgeting needs. As a side note, I would like to add that buying pre-loved is not against Islam or any other religion (as far as my knowledge goes). Culture is great, but not if it means you are burning a hole onto your credit card bill to pay off later.

So buying second hand or pre-loved as is the preferred way to reference it. What does that really mean? It simply means you are purchasing your babies items that have been pre-loved by another family before you. That family is highly likely to have purchased that item new and instead of simply keeping the items in the attic they are releasing their assets and recouping some of the cost they paid out. Doesn’t sound that scary now does it? Honestly though, I hope to sell on Munchys stuff once we have ‘completed’ our family. When will that be you ask. No idea so moving on...

Buying pre-loved items is a big business. Just taking a look around in your community and your local Superstore and you will find people advertising nearly new items at ridiculously low prices as well as second hand items at nice affordable prices.

 For the purpose of this entry I have a look at my local Netmums nearly new board and found a Mamas and Papas cot that cost £400.00 new in top condition for £175.00. Used for 12 months the seller stated, however the child is now sleeping on the bottom bunk of their siblings bed thus the cot is no longer in use. I took a further look and found a Petite Zia pushchair for £30.00. Used for 18 months, still in great condition, no tears etc-seller welcomed buyers to look at the item before agreeing to purchase. There was also a pink Bumbo for £15.00 with the tray (the tray alone costs around £10.00!). Toy wise an ELC garage that costs £40.00 new can be found with extra cars for £6.50-seller has stated two toddlers played with item but it’s still in great condition.

As you can see, if you look in the right places you can find bargains. Is there anything to be ashamed of buying second hand? Absolutely not-who will know apart from you? Any should you be embarrassed about wanting to cater for your newborns needs? If you are really aware of the fact your family and friends will not understand why you are buying pre-loved here are some tips for you:

·         Visit NCT nearly new sales in areas away from home

·         Look at notice boards out of your area

·         Look for items on Netmums and collect the items yourself, check the condition and store the items away until baby arrives. Once baby is here no one will have the time to concentrate on the items especially if cutesy baby has new bedding set.

 You can purchase items and even clean them if need be (I have seen people do this so I know it’s highly possible to do this). I know a young lady who purchased a second hand cot in a pine finish, sanded it down (her partner helped at this stage) and they painted it with child friendly paint in bright neon pink. This may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it was theirs. My friend said the cot cost £20.00, and when she added on the cost of the paint it cost her under £50.00 for a one of a kind cot. So it’s not just those on a tight budget that are looking at pre-loved; those who like to personalise their items to create one-of-a-kind items also prefer to buy pre-loved. And let’s be honest- wouldn’t you rather have all the items you want and need at an affordable price rather than building up debt and worry about paying it off?

These are the top places in my humble opinion to try for pre-loved items:

·         Friends and family (you maybe able to borrow the item with the condition you return it in a good condition-just remember if you damage an item you borrow it’s only good courtesy to replace the item)

·         Netmums local Nearly new boards

·         Local Newspaper

·         Facebook and other social networking sites  

·         EBay

·         NCT nearly new sales

·         Community Baby equipment and toy sales

·         Notice Boards in Supermarkets and shops

·         Playgroups (other mums selling items on-most groups organise tabletop  sales

·         The playground (if you know parents who can ask around for you it may save you money).

If you purchase off EBay just factor in postal costs, and the fact if the item is far away you may not be able to view the item and are basically buying based on the description and photos. Second hand items are not covered by the same policies as new items on EBay.

Also, always use internet safety common sense. If someone is ‘selling’ a brand new Mamas and Papas Nursery for £150.00 instead of £600.00 and want a bank transfer before you’ve seen the item chances are the sale is fake. So you have been warned.

Top items you can buy second hand and clean them (with furniture wipes, dettol-take your pick. Once you’ve cleaned the item I recommend you ‘air’ the item to ensure it has dried properly):

·         Moses basket

·         Cribs

·         Cots

·         High Chair (wooden, adjustable ones are worth their weight in gold as they grow with your little one)

·         Bumbos & Trays (or other sitting aides)

·         Dressers

·         Other furniture e.g. wardrobes

·         First large toys such as play gyms

Realistically, all you need for the first six months is a safe place for little one to sleep. So if you need to really tighten our belt, just buy the bare necessities for the first few months and look for the other items along the way.

The following item is best purchased new (as recommended by Health officials):

Mattresses for cot/crib/basket/cot-take a look online before purchasing online. I bought a mattress for Munchys crib for £30.00 including postage whereas on the High Street a similar item was priced at £55.00. Always use a reputable company and ask for recommendations on Forums if you are not sure.

What about Clothes!?

Okay so truthfully it’s hard not to go giddy at all the baby clothes in the shops however trust me when I say costs start to build up. Here are my top tips for cutting the cost of your tiny person’s wardrobe:

Don’t automatically rule out ‘hand-me-down’s’. Friends and family won’t give you stuff that is not useable (or at least they shouldn’t do) and it will save you money. I’ve known friends who’ve received bagfuls of Gap, Vertbaudet, Jojo Maman Bebe, Next and Mothercare for free. The items were in good condition, and of course they looked lovely updated with new tights, cardigans etc.

Also, during the first two years of your child’s life you will notice how quickly they grow. Clothes in the first year go up in three months e.g. 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 9-12 months. They are also of course weight based too so if your baby is on the slender side (as my Munchy is) you may find certain clothes fit longer. During the second year the sizes are usually 12-18, 18-24 months. So based on this you can see how much wear and tear clothes will receive. Many clothes bundles can be found on EBay and on Netmums at great prices. If you are watching the budget and want nice clothes but do not have the option of hand-me-downs you could consider this option.

Parents usually buy the first lot of clothes themselves-so having a supply of sleep suits and bodysuits (The undergarments). Personally, I think the best ones to go for are the Supermarkets own brands in white-that way you can put them all in the washing machine without worrying about colours running. We had 12 sleep suits, and the same number of bodysuits. I bought them from Asda. Cheap and cheerful, however they were in no condition to be passed down after Munchy finished with them (the constant burping of a child ruins the back of the sleep suits so you have been warned if you want to buy expensive ones with the intention of reusing later on for siblings).

Always remember to wash all new clothes before you use them. This is simply to remove excess chemicals/dust on the items. These items are made in giant factories, where sometimes items can sit around for a while collecting the ugly dust and so forth which you don’t want against a newborns skin. The same rule applies to new bedding or hand-me-down items as you want to get rid of any dust collected whilst the items were in storage.

If family wish to buy you clothes, my suggestion is you ask for the size up, or vouchers. A newborn will hardly wear their clothes and will outgrow them before you get your monies worth. Vouchers are great as you can use them in the sales. There’s no shame in asking for vouchers instead. I always ask for vouchers on special occasions. I have no space for knick-knacks such as candles so vouchers mean I can buy what I actually need.

Bottle or Breast feeding?

If you plan to bottle feed don't forget to factor in the costs of:

Bottles and Teats

Steriliser and cleaning equipment

Bottle warmer

Toys

Toys are something you will notice breed like rabbits unless you put a stop to it. If you are limited for space only buy items you really love and buy only a few. Your little one will not know what toys are for at least 6 months. Toys can cost a lot-what you need to remember is:

Your newborn cannot understand what a toy yet and are not likely to show interest until they are around 6-8 months.

All Toy manufacturers claim their toy is the best and will make your child into Einstein-it’s all clever marketing and shiny packaging and you really do not need to fall for it.

If friends and family wish to buy your child toys I really do believe you are best encouraging them to give you vouchers for a Toy store. Munchy is currently into Happyland and Princesses. We never saw that in her as a baby so could never have predicted that or bought toys in accordance to that. Once a baby starts developing their personality you will be able to buy toys more geared to their likes and needs.

Second toys can be purchased via Netmums boards, EBay and even School Fayre's where there are table top sales. Sales often throw up bargains so keep your eyes peeled as ELC sales are renowned for having big makes such as Vtech at up to 70% off-around the same price of buying pre-loved. We bought a Vtech toy that should have been £44.99 for £8.00. Bargains can be found if you keep an eye out.

A side note on soft toys:

You will discover over time that soft toys in particular are problematic for spreading germs. We have combated this in several ways:

We bought minimum soft toys-it seemed like the most logical thing to do and quite honestly was the best think as Munchy loves Princesses and we never bought them so as her personality develops so does her toy collection.

We launder Munchys soft toys on a quick cycle followed by a fast spin (you must be careful when washing items in a washing machine-always read the label!)

We asked friends and family NOT to buy Munchy toys. For the first few months your baby isn’t aware of toys, and when they do become aware of them, we used mainly Lamaze Toys are they are unisex and are great developmental toys (and easily wipes clean).

You will find toys aimed at your child in every colour,shape and form. All toys will claim to be the best for your child. I should know because I am talking from the experience of buying excessive amount of toys Munchy simply wasn’t intrigued by.

 Do your wallet a favour, and hold fire on buying those large bulky plastic toys. The factories in the PRC (how fancy does that sound compared to just China) won’t be closing down so when your little one does decide to start playing with toys the supplies will not dry out. Stick to smaller toys that can be stored away easily to begin with-my recommendation is Lamaze Toys (before someone claims I am pushing their toys I must have been sponsored please! I am recommending them as we have a large collection of their toys Munchy still loves at the age of 2).

Bedding:

You can of course buy this pre-loved or you can buy a unisex bundle new for a crib or Moses basket from Mothercare in the current sale for under £30.00 (Circus theme, in yellow). If you plan to have more than one child, you will definitely get your monies worth. Sometimes it is definitely worth looking at new items before purchasing pre-loved.

What you may wish to look out for on EBay is things like new crochet blankets, quilted covers for older children as these are often harder to find and when you do find them in specialist shops they are priced accordingly.

Always worth borrowing:

Parenting books-most first time parents will have one or two books on their shelves. Why not borrow a book from a friend or the Library rather than buying? Just remember to return the books!

Using Children Centres and other organisations Toy Libraries

My local Children’s Centre has a Toy Library and a Parenting Book Library. You can borrow a range of toys and even Bumbos (which is a blessing for those who don’t have the space to store items as you can return the item to the Library). What a lovely service for those who are watching their pennies. Why not call your local Children Centre and find out what services they offer. If they don’t have a Toy Library, they should be able to point you in the direction of one locally. Churches and Schools (with Nurseries) and are often good places to ask about Toy Libraries and Toy sharing Schemes.

STOP-stress alert!

If kitting out your baby is stressing you, sit down and have a drink (ideally a cup of tea). Write down what you would to buy and what is really important to you. If having a nice new Moses basket is important to you but that down. Write down everything-down to socks. That way if anyone asks if there is anything they can buy for the baby, you have a list to refer to.

Still not convinced you want to buy pre-loved?

That’s your own prerogative. I cannot dictate to you as a reader, nor should one try. I just wanted to highlight the options that you do have should you wish to look at alternative options. Your baby will thrive on love and care and honestly the Nursery equipment won’t be remembered by your little bundle at all. They will see it in photos and that’s about it. But having stressed parents who are struggling to pay off debts accumulated from their pre-birth really isn’t something I would encourage.

If you still want to purchase everything new, why not consider the following:

Slightly second items direct from the company (www.nurseryvalue.com

-for Petite Zia slightly second goods at fantastically low prices. I’ve used them previously and can highly recommend them).

Factory Shops-I live near a Mamas and Papas shop. They get lovely items in, however it puts me off that you cannot return items. Hormones usually result in a change of heart at least 5 times a day for me. Bah hum.

www.kiddiecare.com- now owned by Morrison’s. They have some lovely items come in. A few months back they had adjustable wooden highchairs in for under £30.00 including the postage (as it’s free on orders of a certain cost). I bought Munchys mattresses for her Crib and Cot from these guys; affordable and good quality too.  I must say though, I have yet to order since they changed ownership.

www.mothercare.com You will love the sales these guys have. I’ve picked up hats at 75% off (okay it was in May but it was still a bargain for the winter wardrobe). Bedding sales are great to look out for too. A single Fireman Sam duvet cover has recently been in the sale for £7.49. As mentioned previously a Circus themed Crib bale is on sale at just under £30.00. It’s in a yellow colour making it a lovely neutral colour set for a girl or boy.

www.vertbaudet.co.uk This website is my knight in shining armour when it comes to a wardrobe fit for a princess. Their bedding sets are gorgeous as it all the furniture. I have yet to buy anything at full price off Vertbaudet-I simply shop with them during their great sales where you can pick up French fashion at up to 70% off.

Sainsbury’s Tu clothing is not only good quality it’s priced to be affordable. Plus Tu have a 25% off their clothing and shoe range at least once a season where you can pick up great bargains. The best bit for me is I’ve bought Munchy lovely denim dress with a top and tights for £4.20 as Tu knock off 25% off the price of items in the sale too. I can only praise Tu for their range of clothes, and the additional 25% off clothes. I’ve also bought bits for myself too from the Tu range so there is something for everyone.

Other places to try especially during the sales (based on my own experience) are:

Tesco (Florence and Fred do well made baby and children’s clothes. Their partyware is a favourite in our household for Munchy).

Gap-we have shopped at the Gap Outlet near Blackpool and loved it. Their sales in their High Street Stores are also worth looking at. Their jeans of course are well made and last.

H&M-this store features heavily in my Munchys wardrobe because of affordability plus they have some lovely Minnie Mouse clothing which Munchy lives for. They have sales and reduced items on a regular basis. I’ve yet to go to a physical sale at H&M-maybe Munchys Baba will read this and take a hint for post Christmas sales 2012?

George@Asda-We have picked up a few bits from George but not too many. We purchased a lovely dungaree style denim dress for £6.00 at full price. It’s well made and gets worn by Munchy with various tops and tights-very versatile for a girls wardrobe.

Next-their post Christmas sales are the best bet for bargains. I’ve been to the sales at silly-o-clock and picked up lots for Munchy.

Bows and Arrows, Boots Limited Edition, Boots own brand clothes@Boots-I cannot talk about my love for Boots clothes too much because I would go on for pages. Boots do a classical range of clothes that remind me of a bygone era of style. We usually purchase dresses from the Boots range. The sales provide a great opportunity to stock up on their lovely clothes. I’ve purchased a lovely lace dress for £16.00 (was £32.00) which is yet to be worn by Munchy (it’s in the wardrobe labelled for next Eid InshAllah).

Readers please note: none of the companies mentioned in this entry have sponsored or bribed their way into it. All are genuine recommendations based on the writers own experiences.

However you plan to kit out your little bundle-enjoy every moment because it really does fly by.

Why is pregnancy still a taboo in Asian society and OMG my husband turned off my freezer and didn't notice until 8 (gulp) days later!

Pregnancy is a miracle in the purest form. We all know what the steps are to get to the 'miracle' but there's something clearly magical about pregnancy.
Most ladies wear their bump with pride-and so they should. However in the

Asian community we are still struggling with pregnancy etiquette.
Now I will be the first to admit that when it comes to etiquette around males in the home environment I don't have much experience of this-simply because I was raised in a single parent family and my deadbeat father didn't actually bother with me because he made a nice family for himself elsewhere (rot in help Pops). And when I got married I didn't spend much time with my in-laws and their extended lot (THANK GOD). However what I do have experience with is modesty.
Islamically, it's requested of the women that we do not show our figures to basically lure the look of men. This can also be applied to a bump situation but it doesn't mean you have to HIDE your news from the world.

There are families out there where women on their periods PRETEND to preform salat (5 times daily prayer) in front of males in their families to stop questions from them. Please ladies reading this-educate our brothers to understand that women have a body that changes and we get periods! And sisters if you live in a joint family set up please take your husband to one side when another sister in the family is expecting and explain that she is indeed on the journey to become a mother and doesn't need the men of the family constantly making her run around for things, or need the questions of 'why is she having a rest!!??'.

I've seen families where sisters are expected to cover their bump for the whole nine months so men in the family don't know what's going on. That is not modesty-that's just silly billy talk!

I'm not saying I expect my Asian or Muslim sisters for that matter to go around flaunting their bump however modesty allows for you to dress comfortably. There are plenty of maternity lines that offer practicality and modesty when it comes to your growing bump.

What I would like to see is other sisters sending duas (prayers) in the direction of expecting sisters when they find out a sister is expecting. No sisters I really don't think saying things like 'May Allah bestow you with an heir' is quite the same especially when a sister is expecting on her first child.

Jealousy is a nasty emotion that can get the best of many especially at such as magical time as pregnancy. There's sisters out there whose husbands merely got excited when they found out their wife was expecting whereas there are sisters whose husbands were excited from day one and continued with the excitement throughout the nine months becoming the envy of many. That my sisters is also down to upbringing. Let's all do ourselves a favour and bring our baby boys up to be honest, humble, hardworking pious men who indeed care for their wives, and show their feelings-Ameen! A man who can show he cares for his wife will in the long run have less problems with his wife because she will know he cares and any problem they have is a hitch they can hopefully overcome.

So my top tips to any sisters currently expecting:

• enjoy every minute as the time will soon fly
• try to involve your husband even at first it seems he's not interested. He cannot feel the changes and growing baby the way you can
• Try and involve elders in the family especially if you live in a joint family with baby related things. Maybe your mother-in-law can knit and you cannot. Why not ask your MIL to knit some booties, a blanket or three for the baby?
• Expect the unexpected and be prepared to have a birth that isn't the fairytale you planned.
• If you live alone try and prepare the kitchen for when the baby returns. This can include batch freezing meals so you don't starve or have to rely on local takeouts once baby is here
• CLEAN as much of your home as possible before baby arrives.
• If you look after the bills sit your husband down before baby arrives and explain the bill system to them. The last thing you need is to be worrying about a baby and the bills too.
• Prepare yourself for parenting as much as possible-read blogs, books and attend prep courses if you have them in the area.
• Accept broken nights sleep is what is in store for you for at least a good 8 months plus.
• Organise your wardrobes and home as much as possible beforehand.
• If you are a part of a mums group try and organise to see at least one mum visitor at least every 4 days. The first days can be scary, and if it's your first time it can also be extremely stressful. A familiar face will help you.
• Take any HELP offered to you. Don't be shy. Other mummies will know what you are going through.
• Don't feel you need to provide your guests with lavish snacks-they really don't expect it.
• Ask your midwife all the questions you have even if they are small things that you are slightly worried about after all there job is to be there for you. My Midwife Sharon was fab and a trooper for me.
• RELAX if you can-and try not to worry about the things you cannot control.

So sisters enjoy your bumphood-it soon goes and you will miss it!

Okay so today's rant-OMG my husband unplugged my chest freezer and only remembered 8 days later.
So what was wasted: homemade keema, rolls, kebabs, tikkis, chops, daals, chicken palak plus lots of stuff Munchy loves plus uncooked meats. I am still upset after the whole experience. All that time spent cooking wasted by my husband. All he say is when can go buy them again. What about all the hours I spent preparing the food? It seems he forgets Munchy is a full time job.