Baby Dam product review

Baby Dam product review

Please note: I bought this product myself; this is by no means a joint venue review with the company in question.

Look in any Parenting Magazine and they will give you a list of ‘must have items’ for your baby or toddler. Items range from the simple items to the damn right ridiculous and waste of money as your child will never use that said item.

In my experience buying products based on others suggestions is often a hit or miss; there is no sure fire formula that will help you in your quest to find the the best value for money products; especially when you are preparing for bambino numbero uno.

What I can tell you is before your baby is born there are some things that you can buy with confidence because you know you will buy them and others will simply collect dust in your attic.

My review today is for a product called the Baby Bath Dam. It’s an inventive plastic ‘dam’ that fits any straight sided bathtub. It basically creates a mini bathtub within your larger tub thus perfect size for babies and toddlers.

The Bath Dam idea was conceived by a parent who got fed up of seeing puddles on water on their carpet from bathing their child in a portable bath tub (the ones babies grow out of quickly) and when they moved onto using the family bath tub they noticed their bills rise as they were on a water meter. Plus it took a while for the tub to fill up (and it’s face it not many of us have the extra patience with a little one to deal with the smaller things in life).

It eliminates the need to purchase a baby bath that babies quickly outgrow and are often hard to store as the Dam can be used from a newborn. The product is quick and easy to fit. You simply place it in your bathtub curving it to create the Dam. You then smooth the rubber seal to ensure it’s water tight. You pull the little yellow levers in the two ‘feet’ which are suckers so that product attaches to the bath. And voila; you are ready to fill your Bath Dam.

The Dam is easy to fit; however it’s advisable to ensure there’s no soap residue on the bathtub as this creates a slippery surface which isn’t suitable for the Dam as it simply slips out of place letting the water out. There’s also a small ‘plug’ in the Dam to let out water if you accidentally overfill your bath. The product is blue in colour-no other colours are available however would you really want a pink one? We certainly didn’t feel that was something that would add any type of value to the product.

Once you fit the Dam you fill up like you fill up any other bath. If you fit it properly it will stay in place. It’s just as easy to dismantle after a bath. You loosen it and remove it from the tub. It’s easy to store too; we leave it standing against the bath wall so the water drips off completely. The Dam of course like any other product that comes into contact with water can become ‘slimy’ which is sorted with a good clean with any good cleaner.

We have been using our Dam since my little girl was a few months old; and I would consider it an essential baby item for the following reasons:

It’s environmentally friendly; It saves water (and will save parents money-especially those on a water metre)

You don’t have to buy a baby bath

As it creates a smaller ‘tub’ it’s quicker to fill up (I don’t know many Mamas who like waiting for their bath to fill up with a screaming toddler who wants to play with bubbles)

It’s easy to install and dismantle

It doesn’t take up lots of space in terms of storage

You can use it for approximately 30 months (if you buy it whilst your baby is a newborn)-it’s hardwearing and will easily be used by other siblings.

Cons:

I don’t think this product would be suitable for bathing more than one child because there wouldn’t be enough room in the Dam you create so you would stick to using the full tub filled. However, I don’t think this should put you off as you wouldn’t bathe a newborn or a child (in my opinion) who needs support in the bath with an older sibling who splashes around.

The pricing of this product for me makes it an affordable and reasonably priced item for parents budgeting for all the essential items. It’s priced at £26.99 plus £5.50 postage cost for UK customers. Dispatch was quick-we got our Dam within 5 days of placing the order.

Customer Service experience:

I emailed them when I placed my order because my email was playing up so they confirmed quickly my order had been received and would be dispatched as soon as possible. Quick, friendly and efficient.

Would I buy the product again/recommending to friends:

I would buy the item again if I needed to however it doesn’t look like I will need to purchase another one as this one is still doing strong-hurrah! And yes indeed, I would recommend to friends. I think this item would make a fantastic Baby Shower gift-I doubt highly anyone else will be buying it for the expectant Mother.

SAFETY NOTICE: You still need to supervise your child whilst they are in the Bath tub-regardless of what you use to bathe them. Never think a product is a good substitute to parental responsibilty and guidance. Never leave a child alone in water-ever; period!

Where can you buy the item from?

Directly from the company via their website: www.babydam.com

　

When your B.F.F splits from your husband’s B.F.F*...The politics of courting couples as ‘family friends’

[B.F.F.=best friend forever; yes it’s a pipedream but maybe you will be friends until the bitter end]

A sad reality of the times is a high percentage of couples end up saying ‘I do’ and then ‘I don’t’. In Islam divorce is the most disliked Halal action simply because it’s the splitting of what should be a solid unit (hands up if you have heard the saying that couples are formed in Heaven *gosh that sounds so much better in Urdu-sigh*). So basically although it’s of course allowed (no one should be forced to live with someone they simply do not love nor respect or simply don’t wish to be in a relationship with). And when it does happen, it sadly effects the family-especially the children who although will still have two parents; they won’t be under the same roof which is what the children are in a routine of seeing.

Of course culturally divorce is seen as a Taboo for a lot of Asians-in particular the Pakistani community. ‘Aunties’ (known as Massis in Punjabi) go into autopilot and assume the worst in the woman-it usually goes something like ‘she was too western’, ‘she didn’t adjust to her in-laws’, ‘she’s so lazy’, ‘she was badchaal (her character was bad-in other words she’s be desired as a Hussy/player), ‘she made her husband buy her presents all the time’, ‘she’s a bad woman because she wanted to live alone away from her lovely in-laws’, ‘she’s ungrateful-so what if her husband has a mistress’...so you get the picture. Most of the time the woman gets blamed-regardless of the actual situ.

My mother is a ‘divorcee’. A lot of people assumed I would turn about to be an alcoholic nutter with no prospects in life. My mother seeked an Islamic divorce (known as a Khula) as my selfish father wished to keep his options open as his other wife was a kidney dialysis patient and well to put it bluntly he would need someone to care for my younger half siblings should his ill wife pass away. My grandmother (who unfortunately was also selfish in thought) didn’t wish for the divorce to go through. None of my mother’s siblings supported my mother until my late Nana said she was going to support her daughter. Well done Nana-may you be granted Heaven for actually doing what a good mother does.

Okay so back to divorce. It happens. People (even Muslims) fall out of love it can happen. You really cannot control your heart-it’s a matter of fact that we wish we could but we cannot. I’ve read about parents being critisised for admitting they have a favourite child-we all say we love our children equally but for some of us the love we have is stronger for a certain child because most of the time we can see ourselves in that child. We would still give our kidney to the other children though, so let’s just relax and not go on a witch hunt for those parents.

As couples we build homes from houses, we saw acorns that turn to trees, and we have children, a career, social lives, social circles we mingle in and friends. We are a unit, a strong one at that. What some couples do is ‘court’ other couples as friends. Now I am not talking about ‘dating’ other couples what I am referring to is when we form friendships with other couples-the brothers hang out together and the sisters meet up and have fun too. It’s not necessarily mixed sex mingling; it’s a case of when you get a call from your friend she will also ask if your husband is in as her husband wants to talk about the latest cricketing gossip.

 Eventually the relationship changes when you become parents. You may enjoy pregnancies at the same time and be fortunate to have children that become friends. You invite your friends over after the mad Eid rush has gone for dinner-this couple are like the family you have picked for yourself. It’s all great isn’t it? All rosy.

 When a close friend of mine got married I was rooting for the idea of my husband becoming B.F.F’s with my friend’s husband. I was convinced their native land of Pakistan would create a strong bond between them. My husband though isn’t into this ‘scene’ at all. It left me heartbroken. I had visions of Iftaris, Eids, Birthday Lunches, our children’s graduations, their Weddings...oh okay a bit far. But yes, I had a dream. But it didn’t work out. Good job too because this article would have been more autobiographical due to that said friends now situ of going through the big ‘D’.

So one day, you get a call from your B.F.F; she seems distant but you put that down to her husband working ‘longer hours’ and your friend having to hold down the fort with the three children, Masjid run, School run, Sports..Etc etc. You get a call from another friend asking ‘if your B.F.F. is okay because she didn’t turn up for the PTA Bake Sale’ (and she always takes part). Slowly a picture starts building of a problem looming. You ask your husband about B.F.F.’s husband-he knows nothing apart from the fact his friend is always busy and hasn’t returned his called for a fortnight.

Any self respecting friend at this stage digs deeper not in a noisy way but in a caring loving way- but carefully and may even do a surprise visit to said friends house. You turn up and are greeted with a shocking sight; a ‘For Sale’ board on your friends house. You knock on and are greeted by the remains of what was your friend-a frail, older looking friend (your children don’t go to the same School which initially cut you up but you learnt to love the idea of attending two lots of Sports Days).

Your friend tells you that she has separated from her husband, and is currently filing for divorce. You are dumbstruck-how could this happen to your friend? They were at your house only a month ago enjoying your Gobi Samosas with Chai. It was all a charade for the sake of their oldest child who was preparing for pre-entry tests to a prestigious private School-this leaves you crushed. You are then told the shocking truth that cracks had appeared in their marriage about two years ago when they had their last child. You comfort your friend and return home to your husband-and your friends husbands B.F.F.

You find out that your husband’s B.F.F. has finally returned the calls and explained that he has had to leave his family because he has been under considerable pressure from his in-laws and can no longer hack it. Your friend has told you a different version which includes the girl at work he shared a ride to work with. You start squabbling with your husband over the situation and your friends marriages bitter demise is now eating away at what you thought was your happy and stable marriage.

How on earth are you meant to handle this situation? You are like a pot of lava-you want to blow and tell your husband exactly how much of a slime ball his friend REALLY is. Don’t go in shouting the odds and encouraging your friend to do the same. What realistically will this achieve? Are you thinking about your friend’s welfare and those three children? Or are you simply reacting to the news you have heard. Be supportive and be a friend who can be relied on without the worry you will blow your top off every few minutes.

So what should I realistically do?

For starters don’t let this divorce affect your marriage. Yes she is your friend, yes he is your husband’s friend; indeed you see those children as your nephews and nieces but what will arguing with your husband achieve for the situation? So he has been told a different version of events to you. Not surprising but rarely do both people going through a divorce see eye-to-eye over the details.

What you need to do is the following (please note; this is advice only I am by no means a councillor):

1)      Sit down with your husband and talk about how you can support each friend in the best possible way. They are no longer a couple-but you two are. Act like one, support each other. Your friends divorcing will affect you yes-however it won’t have the same affect on you as it is on your friend so save your drama for a more applicable time.

2)      Talk to your respected friends and if applicable offer to be peacekeepers if they need to talk to each other and are struggling to do so in a reasonable manner. Often having a friend rather than family member as a mediator works best as you should be able to remain neutral whilst this is literally impossible for family members to do.

3)      Try to keep some normality with the children. If the children stayed over on a Friday night after dinner suggest that your friend still comes over for a meal and that the children stay as they have done previously done so.

4)      Avoid taking sides; yes you are in your friends ‘corner’ however taking sides will just fuel the fire of arguments.

5)      Support your friend in everyday things-if her ex usually took the children to their tuition and it’s only a 5 minute drive could you volunteer to help until the parents sort out the situation?

6)      Going through a separation has effects on those who are involved’ health especially the parents. Make sure your friend is eating properly and looking after her health-why not bake a few dishes (Pasta Bakes are quite simple) and take them over to your friend’s house and suggest she freezes them. Life goes on; and we all need to eat.

7)      Make it a rule with your friend not to discuss their former partner-this will help especially if one of the partners decides to remarry.

8)      And should that happen you need to talk to your husband about how you feel about having your husband’s B.F.F. and new partner over. It’s best to discuss these things before they become an issue. If you don’t see having your husband’s B.F.F. and partner over you may wish to chat to your friend about it so she’s aware of the situation. And the conversation needs to take place vice-versa (nothing would be stopping your friend from remarrying either). Surprises like this are best avoided.

9)      There is nothing stopping you and your husband from keeping your friendships intact and treating them as your solo friend rather than a power couple. It may take a bit of getting used to; however you can invite your friend around when you have the girls around for a cup of tea. Your friends can be adjusted into your existing social life with a bit of compromise.

10)   Never forget the real victims who have no say in what happens in any of this are the children. All effort should be made to create a bit of normality for them-by their parents, you as their family friend and other loved ones too. I’m not saying pretend everything is rosy, be realistic and if the children are old enough to understand then it is worth sitting down with them and explaining the situation in hand.

11)   Advise your friend as best as possible with a view of doing what is best for the children. If your friend is having a breakdown and wants revenge on her ex by ‘stopping him seeing the kids’ you need to handle the situation effectively and explain the detrimental effects this can have on the children; no one should use their children as pawn pieces. If the situation is beyond talking then there are Courts that can help with the situation. NEVER EVER encourage your friend to flee the country with their children! If their ex is a violent person they need to seek legal advice, and  should even speak to the Police to seek advice. The last thing anyone should ever do is flee the country and create more problems for themselves (and consider what effect this will have on the children).

12)   Whatever happens, please try and save passing judgement on your friend/her situation/the way it is affecting their children. Truth of the matter is, one cannot talk about how ‘they must be feeling’ because unless we have walked in their shows we don’t know what they are going through.

This entry was quite a sad one to write however when the above does happen the last thing we actually do is think rationally and do what is right-we act with our hearts often to regret later. Even though my advice may seem geared towards Muslims only it can be adapted for others too.

When will the work end so Munchy can get back to her routine!

Oh no, I feel like I'm turning into a nag and have a 'To Do List' that is never ending. There's a part of me that feels sorry for my husband for having me go on and on, however it's all for the good of Munchy.

You see I just all the stuff around the house that needs doing finished so Munchy can mooch around without the danger of power tools lurching around every corner. However the problem is none of the work seems near completion and quite frankly I'm losing my patience (shock horror, a woman is losing her patience-get over it men).

Because the truth of the matter is our house has looked like a work in progress since 2009 and all I want now it a house that is a home where I can have play dates for Munchy and be able to relax. I don't think that's asking for too much.

Perhaps the fact I am thinking about how all this work is effecting Munchy is stressing me more? Her nap routine has disappeared (oh God please return it to us) and her night time sleeping is just as bad if not worse now because she isn't eating properly during the day thus needs milk at night. Plus she's abandoned her cot. And when she gets upset she wants DADDY! I think that's to do with the work too-as the husband has been spending time with the workmen Munchy has also been tagging along and spending time during the day with him which has clearly upset her daily routine. Did I mention by Mums on holiday too which has also knocked Munchy for six-because she was used to seeing Nanoo everyday as we live together. 

So routines-I love them. Some on the other hand think it's more natural for a child to carve their own routine. That's fine-I believe a good routine is a balance of both. What I cannot understand is the Mother nature types that look down on Mummies like me who bottle fed. I bottle fed Munchy with good reason. Lack of milk, and then a lactose intolerance plus reflux made it a sensible option for us as a family. God knows I tried with the whole Breastfeeding thing but it didn't work for me.

Although most tried to understand Munchy and my dilemma, some did have the nerve to look down their nose at me as 'I should know better as I have worked under Children and Young Peoples Services' so understand the government is 'pushing' breastfeeding. That's all good and well however mums and other folk need to understand judging others won't do you any good as a person will it?

Oh talking of judging, when Munchy was born she had bad reflux which I basically self-diagnosed and then after many visits to the GP and out of hours service got an official diagnosis. Oh where was I, oh yes when Munchy was born she was fair better taking a nap in my arms than lying down (of course reflux doesn't help this-plus a newborn doesn't take to be away from Mama anyhow). So I used to hold her as much as she needed really as did Mum and husband however my FIL's aunt by marriage told me not to hold her as much as I was creating a rod for my own back. How lovely. There was this old lady who could have taken the opportunity to give her pearls of wisdom instead I got told off for holding my baby.

I carried on holding my baby and 16 months later Munchy chooses if she wants to give a cuddle or kiss-so I am grateful for those cuddles I had then because pinning Munchy down now is near impossible (unless she wants a cuddle-which isn't really that often).

My pearls of wisdom to any new mummy out there potentially reading this is you are the best judge of what is good for your child. If something doesn't feel right, say so. If you want to bottle feed and not breastfeed then that's YOUR call. Remember there are women out there who smoke throughout their pregnancies-the busy bodies telling you to breastfeed if you don't want to should be directed in their direction. Breastfeeding is the most natural way of feeding a baby however it's not always possible (look at my situation above).

Babies don't come with a manual but if they did lets be honest-not many of us would follow the words down a T would we?

Right time for me to dash-Munchy could do with a Nap and I could do with painting the kitchen Berry Pink. Maybe I should put photos up on here of my designed kitchen to have you all mark it out of 10?